Do You Have A Soul Tie?

Every human is born with emotions in various experiences throughout their lifetime. Some of these emotions, however, are mysteries within themselves because we all give responses to specific events we face in life. When a loved one passes away, you and the people close to them begin to weep and mourn, knowing they are gone. Suppose you were in a relationship with someone; before you knew it, you were on cloud 9. Suddenly, there’s a break-up, rejection, betrayal, and abandonment. The scenarios are endless, but I am pointing out how humans connect in close intimate relationships. The beauty of having close relationships is not the feelings you build towards someone or something but the experiences that develop those feelings.

Do you see where I’m going with this? When you become close to someone, whether, in a friendship or romantic setting, You suddenly find yourself emotionally attached to them, wondering what life will be like without them. What is this strong emotional phenomenon, and is it normal to feel this way? In our modern culture, we refer to this as “Soul Ties,” an emotional and spiritual concept of becoming attached. God had given everyone a soul when they were born, and the nature of the soul is to be drawn to something by will. The soul is the foundation of all our emotions, and our soul responds to different experiences, whether good or bad. Some may portray soul ties as a good or bad concept, but this was something God intended for humanity.

In Genesis 1, after God created Adam and Eve, the Bible states in verse 28 that God blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and multiply.” This means that I have created both of you to bond and increase in number. This led them to have two sons, Cain and Abel. The Bible refers to soul ties as becoming one and knitting together (1 Samuel 18:1, 1 Corinthians 6:16, and Genesis 2:24). From what the Bible teaches about soul ties means two or more souls bonding together and acting as one flesh, basically creating a close relationship with someone. Soul ties are a beautiful part of life to stimulate intimacy with other people. However, anything God intends for good, the devil will mean it for evil.

Becoming attached to someone could also be the hardest stronghold in your life. Yes, someone you’re close to can become an addiction based on specific experiences you’ve had with them. If you are wondering if you have an unhealthy soul tie with someone, ask yourself the question. How strong are the memories you made with them, and are some even on a sexual level? Regardless of the experiences, here are five symptoms that you may have formed a toxic soul tie with another person.

1.Obsessively Thinking About Them

Most of these symptoms will be from the point of view of a romantic relationship but know these symptoms can apply in other types of close relationships. To start, identifying a toxic soul tie goes through the thought process. The mind is a powerful source of our emotions, and when our soul becomes attached to something, the brain goes through a frequent pattern. As was mentioned earlier, most soul ties form through intimate experiences. So let’s talk about sex and how most soul ties are formed through sexual experiences.

Pastor Mike Todd said it in many of his sermons “Sex was God’s idea!” There are various reasons why sex is a memorable experience. Sex is not only the result of two people multiplying but also two bonding with each other in the most vulnerable event of their life. When two people have sex once married, their bonding experience keeps them both attached. When they are separated or in other vulnerable situations, their spouse is someone they think about. That makes the two become one thinking about the person you have a covenant with. On the other hand, if two people have premarital sex, the experience is overwhelming. Imagine having sex with someone you built solid feelings for, and when there’s a separation getting them out of your head may not be easy.

One thing to remember is that sex is not the only way to form a soul tie with someone, but the most notable. If you’re curious if you have a strong attachment with someone, how often do you think about them? If you’re constantly thinking about the special times, you had with them. The times you had strong chemistry and felt so accepted. Moments you laughed together, they smiled at you, and overall just felt so happy when you were around them. It is super painful to have all of it come crashing down and no longer have it. Toxic thinking occurs from unhealthy soul ties, building an obsession for the person.

2. High Codependency 

Call it what you want but depending on another person to make you happy or feel accepted is unhealthy. Most dating coaches refer to this as “oneitis,” but psychology gives it the term codependency. This term is defined as one person who needs validation from a romantic partner, crush, or any individual they are close to. When someone experiences high levels of intimacy, they become incredibly dependent on it. Codependency can range from high to low levels, but when a strong attachment is formed, the codependency level is typically high.

Two essential hormones play a role in our bonding experiences: Dopamine and Oxytocin. Dopamine is typically like a feel-good hormone your body releases when it’s drawn to something. This can be anything from the scent of cigarette smoke, seeing a pornographic image on a playboy magazine, or your crush smiling back at you and reciprocating tension. Oxytocin, on the other hand, also referred to as the love hormone, is when you experience the reward your soul is drawn to. It’s like taking that first puff of a cigarette, observing porn for the first time, or your crush reciprocates affection, leading to a sexual experience. These two hormones are potent and are like fireworks going off in your body when you bond to something.

As interesting as this can be, this is precisely how many addictions are formed. Someone who creates a soul tie with another person becomes addicted to what they experienced. Codependency is probably the most evident symptom of a toxic soul tie. If you are close to someone and are highly dependent on them for validation and affection, your emotions can speak for themselves. The Bible even shows an excellent example of this from the relationship between Sampson and Delilah in Judges. Sampson was extremely codependent on Delilah’s seduction and, if you think about it, had many opportunities to walk away from her. Delilah was showing every red flag in the book, trying to figure out his weakness, but Sampson’s codependency on Delilah’s lap and affection completely blinded him. That led right to his downfall.

3. The Struggle To Move On

The sad part of someone stuck in an attachment is the repeated attempts to move on to no avail. When you have a toxic soul tie with another person, it’s like part of you is inside that person, and no other human’s love matters. Did I mention how married couples become attached? Attaching yourself to the wrong person is like giving yourself the marriage package with no eternal promise. Imagine spending your entire life savings on a lifetime fitness membership and only getting one to two sessions with the trainer. Then he stops training you or only does it when he feels like it, and you don’t get your money back. How would you feel? Don’t waste your soul on the wrong person!!!

Most people trapped in a soul tie find it nearly impossible to move on from their ex and date other people. I don’t care how many people you try to move on with; if your soul is completely stuck on one person, all your energy will be founded on them. You can run, but you can not hide. This is inevitable, especially if the two see each other frequently or have some way to contact each other. If you believe you have an emotional attachment with someone and every time you see them is an overwhelming experience, just know that this is not a great way to find freedom.

Most unhealthy soul ties are a lot of physical and emotional abuse cases. Going back to the Sampson and Delilah story, there were two types of people in the relationship. One was on cloud nine thinking they found love(Sampson), while the other viewed this as a transactional situation (Delilah). Some attachments, whether two or one-sided, can be an act of manipulation from a person using this to stroke their ego while another is on the most intense roller coaster ride of their life. This is why you see so many toxic couples breaking up and getting back together or someone being abused will settle to keep the relationship alive. If someone is developing strong feelings for you and you’re aware, please do that person a huge favor and walk away, especially if you’re not feeling the same way. The more you entertain something that is not there, the harder it will be to move on and the more pain you will put yourself through.

4. Frequent Mood Swings

An intense symptom of a toxic soul tie can range from someone who has frequent mood swings in the relationship. Maybe you can call it bipolar disorder, but your emotions cannot stay consistent when there is a strong attachment. If you have to self-diagnose, ask yourself if you feel like you’re on cloud 9 with this person on certain days and then suddenly offended by them the next? Are there days when you’re deeply in love with them and would do anything for them, but when you feel rejected, you are overcome with solid resentment and bitterness? Why do people have these mood swings?

Going hand in hand with the other symptoms, the structure of toxic soul ties goes by high expectations of the relationship. Since this is the point of view of dating, what makes unhealthy relationships is someone’s thought process of relationships. We think the way to feel complete is to find someone to complete us. Our world idolizes finding fulfillment in dating and marriage through the influence of pop culture. When we get into a relationship and find affection from another person, our body, mind, and soul will attach high expectations to them.

So to answer the mystery of why people have mood swings in soul ties is because of the high expectations and values set on other people. Why is the value so high on other people? It’s because they don’t value themselves and genuinely don’t know their worth. If this symptom applies to you, please understand that someone else’s view of you does not define your value. It never was and never will be. When God created you in your mother’s womb, I can promise you he did not make your value out of love for one person. His purpose for creating you was to find that love he deeply has for you and share that love with others, especially the right person.

5. Literally Becoming Sick

Whether you believe it or not, soul ties can make you physically and emotionally sick. How do you usually act when you develop a severe illness? If you have a high fever, you probably want to stay in bed all day and do not have the energy to do anything. This is precisely how an unhealthy attachment can affect a person. When you idolize something, you will do anything to get your hands on it, and idols can translate into obsession. The secret consequence of idols is literal damage to your soul. Don’t believe me; the Bible demonstrates it multiple times.

Two significant examples are from King David and his son Amnon. In 2 Samuel 11, King David, who was supposed to be in battle, was out in the courtyard when he spotted Bathsheba bathing in the distance. This led to David sending his servants to find out who she was and having a one-night stand with her. However, David knew that she was the wife of Uriah, one of his most loyal soldiers, and just like that, Bethsheba was pregnant. So David has Uriah killed in battle to cover up his mistakes. Terrible right? It gets worse; his son Amnon ends up following his father’s footsteps but not at a local concubine down the street. Moving to 2 Samuel 13, David’s son Amnon fell in love with his half-sister Tamar, and he became so obsessed with her that he became “SICK.” So, tragically he plots a way to ambush and sexually assault her.

Have you ever wondered why Paul prohibited sexual immorality in 1 Corinthians 6:18? Saying those who sin sexually sin against their own body? Even in Matt 5:28, when Jesus states even a look with lust counts as adultery. Regardless of the circumstance, soul ties with the wrong person make you into someone destructive. Some wonder if physical sex is the only way to form a soul tie, and the answer is no. Anything our soul lusts after and idolizes is enough to destroy our life. Someone’s sexual encounter, attention, or closeness can become a drug to us and destroy our soul if it’s not given to us.

I know what you’re thinking. If not all those symptoms apply, you may feel shame for feeling super attached to someone. But I am here to tell you there is a way for it to be broken. If you are confident you have a soul tie with someone, here are three practical ways to break it out of your life.

CUT IT OFF!!

This has been spoken to you like a broken record, but I’ll be the millionth person to tell you to cut this person out of your life. Letting go of something you care about is easier said than done, but your foundation of freedom comes from your decision and not anyone else’s. If you’re not broken up with this person, it’s time to prepare to verbally end the relationship. Once you do cut it off, I mean, really do cut it off; try not being around this person as much as possible or unless you have to.

If you have to leave a church, change hours at work, or start a new social circle, then kudos to you. Not only do you have to avoid seeing the person, but it also includes getting rid of anything that will remind you of them. That means deleting pictures, blocking on social media, blocking their number, getting rid of gifts, or maybe even not hanging out with people they are close to. The point is this: to be free from something, you must make the sacrifice to eliminate it from your daily or weekly routine. When you start a new habit, you begin a new thought process.

Allow Yourself To Grieve

If you can make it through point number one, you must prepare for point number two, allowing yourself to grieve. One decision does not instantly make you emotionally stable but sets you up for a healing process. Breaking soul ties is literally like recovering from drug addiction. When your soul is attached for an extended period, it becomes used to a routine. These routines are probably toxic, of course, but your mind accepts them for what it was. Grieving isn’t fun, but it is ok to grieve for someone your heart fell deeply for. When allowing yourself to grieve, you need to know that you will have an emotional withdrawal, you will miss them deeply, and you probably will have frequent times where you might freak out. Change is sometimes painful, but to bring healthy change into your life, you may have to go through pain.

However, as I have mentioned before, soul ties are formed in various ways, and instead, if the attachment was good or bad, everyone grieves the loss of someone they were close to. In John chapter 10, verse 30, Jesus states he and God the father were one. The People didn’t know what he meant by that, but just like the Bible speaks of a man and woman becoming one flesh, Jesus implied that to him and his father. Jesus had many close relationships in his time on earth, but his relationship with the father was different. The bible states he would go off to pray and be alone with his father. Building intense intimacy with a presence that no one else could see, and when he was in the final moments of the cross, he looked up and felt that presence leave him.

Then he shouted, “Eli, Eli,[a] lemasabachthani?” (which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”).

-Matt 27:46 NIV

It may be crazy to say this, but even Jesus felt that painful loss you are feeling right now. Jesus was hated, mocked, and rejected by crowds of people who wanted him crucified. I’m sure the whole experience was excruciating, but it was that one moment when God the Father turned his face from the son, and Jesus felt rejected and so alone. Dr. Derek Prince believed this is what ultimately killed Jesus on the cross, facing the abandonment of the relationship that mattered most to him. Jesus died to overcome many things that we cannot. So when you’re grieving, know the Lord is with you, saying, “I felt it too.”

Find The Right Support System 

As hard as it is to move on from someone, it doesn’t mean you have to do it alone. Overcoming the pain, you’re going through is already overwhelming within itself. So that’s why finding a great support system in your social circle is important. It’s understandable that some people are introverts and are not comfortable sharing their life with others. However, as mentioned in previous posts, isolation is a choice and won’t solve your problems. It can be overwhelming to be open about your issues, but if you sit down and talk about it with an individual or a group. Finding out that you’re not alone in your struggle can be a spark for your healing.

Great places to build that support system could range from a local church ministry, weekly self-help groups, or anything that helps open up about your situation and make new friends. Your current friends and family are also excellent sources, but the point is you want to surround yourself with people who will be patient and love you through your grieving process. Also, you want to be surrounded by a group that is not afraid to show tough love and hold you accountable when you potentially relapse into your attachment. Sometimes we have to know the attachments that are healthy for us, including the church, because, as the church, we are one body (1 Corinthians 12:12-13). If you want to attach your soul to one person, connect your soul to Christ.

Mentioning that we need support from our process with our friends and family is great, but sometimes not everyone can be emotionally available. We need help that is consistent and always available. That is where I can recommend signing up for therapy on FaithfulCounceling. Faithful counseling is an online therapy platform that allows you to connect with a Christian counselor from the comfort of your home. You can schedule many live phone and video chats and attend online group therapy sessions. Christian counseling may be what you’re looking for when you have a crucial attachment you want to break out of your life. Sign up today using the promo code https://faithfulcounseling.com/freeandredeemed and readers will get 10 % off their first month. Start your recovery today and overcome the toxic soul ties.

If you are on a tight budget, I recommend connecting with JesusCares.com. Jesus cares is an online ministry always open to chatting with hurting people. If you need to have a quick conversation and open up about your pain, JesusCares is more than willing to help. You can also find a local church near you and connect with other ministries. So what are you waiting for? Go to JesusCares.com today and get plugged in somewhere.